Anxiety Series - Parenting Style
Anxiety is a very general term meaning an experience of uneasiness, fear or worry. Anxiety isn’t something some people have and others do not. Instead, it should be thought of as on a continuum from very mild to severe. Mild experiences of anxiety are normal, everyday events for every person. Occasional moderate-to-severe experiences of anxiety are also normal for every body – think of stepping out onto the road, thinking it was clear, then a car swerving around you and beeping its horn – this is a state of high anxiety. However, everyday moderate-to-severe anxiety is an issue that an increasing amount of people struggle with. Imagine again that feeling when you have a near miss with a car – heart beating faster, hyper-vigilance, confusion, dizziness, inability to focus – these are some of the experiences that are suffered regularly, and often for prolonged amount of time, by people who struggle with anxiety. In its most extreme state, this results in an anxiety attack, when there is a rapid, large increase in breathing rate combined with an inability to focus on any particular sensory input.
In this series we will explore this type of anxiety, its suggested causes, links to creativity and a recommended solution.
Some social psychologists link increased anxiety over the last few decades with a cultural shift in parenting styles, particularly around free play. Prior to the 1990s it was incredibly common for young children to be allowed out to play with their friends or siblings within their neighbourhood, without any adult supervision, for hours at a time. There are risks to this parenting style, around crime, abduction, child safety etc (which were much greater risks then than they are now) yet there are also great benefits.
When children play by themselves, without adult supervision, a number of positive things happen. Firstly, they become incredibly creative, making up games and rules, trying them out and altering them. Embracing the creative side of our brain is important for emotional regulation, as will be discussed later in this series. Secondly, they have to manage their social interactions amongst themselves, without an adult to defer to. This means they build a strong, nuanced conception of human interaction, preparing themselves for any social difficulties in the future. Lastly, they have to react to any difficult issues arising by themselves. If one of the group breaks a bone, or they get a little lost or they are confronted with bullies, they must work out for themselves how to manage these circumstances. Over time, this builds a resilience, personality-wise and neurologically, to stress. They are well equipped to manage many difficult situations and can apply their resilience to situations unknown in the future.
The rise in anxiety has coincided with a cultural shift in relation to this style of parenting. Even though the world for our children is safer now than it has ever been, we are bombarded with more negative stories from the media than previously. Perhaps it is because of this, that parents are much less inclined to let their children play freely without supervision. A growing number of children today grow up having all of their free time supervised by an adult, who can step in or be deferred to whenever an issue arises, reducing thousands of important resilience building experiences for children.
It is also suggested that this is the reason for a very interesting trend; anxiety being worse amongst children of middle-class and upper-class families, than it is of children from working-class families. Whether out of necessity or due to a different view of parenting, working-class families allow their children to play freely more often. Obviously, economic hardship can bring other issues.
In the next part of this series, we will discuss the interesting link between anxiety and creativity.